"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, 'He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.'"
The Psalmist paints a beautiful picture here of someone who has a very safe relationship with God, one that in the time of trouble, in the time of despair, a safe place can be found - a place of refuge and security. As a child and young adult, I wish I had been aware that this type of relationship could exist with God. I was raised in a very strict, rule-following faith tradition, and while obedience to God's laws is certainly important,there was rarely allowed for a balance. In other words, I many times was left with the impression that God's anger against me for failing or breaking His commands was to be avoided at all costs. And while grace did exist, it was rarely preached about or shared publicly less it be abused or somehow become disgraceful, and we trample on the blood so willingly shed for the forgiveness of our sin. I say this with all respect. I am thankful that I was raised to love God and love His Word, but there are many times when I look back on my life, this strict adherence to rules left me more concerned and fearful of what others thought of me, than I many times was of what God thought of me. I fear that in many ways I was a part of a culture that believed in the forgiveness of God, but rarely shared it with others, and the idea of a refuge during a time of trouble may have been experienced by some but it was rarely offered as an option to those who loved God, but made mistakes that any normal teenager and young adult might make. My fear when I look back is that I in many ways was a part of culture of shame, that creates a need to hide and to cover up our mistakes rather than be able to acknowledge and admit when we come up short.
This is not a new problem. It's really man's best attempt to deal with sin. In the garden, when Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and they discovered for the first time what it meant to be disobedient, there best solution was to cover themselves with leaves and to hide from God. God, full of grace and mercy, still pursued relationship with them, coming down at the appointed time and looking for them as He had everyday. But alas, there response to shame was not to run toward God, but to hide from Him.
Throughout scripture we see men and women looking for ways to cover over their mistakes. Achan dug a hole and placed the objects of his sin in the ground behind his tent. David committed unspeakable acts, conspiring even to murder one of his most loyal men, to cover over his sin of adultery. Ananias and Saphira continued to lie, to cover up other lies designed to hide the sin of pride and greed. It is in our nature to conceal or to hide when we fail to measure up to God's standard. And yet, no hiding place is sufficient to cover the feelings of condemnation and shame we feel when we have willfully done wrong. It's why the writer of Proverbs would write "He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes his sin will find mercy" (Proverbs 28:13).
When I was a young man, I had decided to pursue the call of God that was on my life for ministry, and after two years of studying accounting, I decided to go away to Bible College. When I looked back over my young adult years, I could see plenty of moments of weakness, where I stumbled and felt unworthy to pursue such a noble call, and yet here I was. Because of this sense of shame and guilt that I felt, I struggled with my self-worth, my value to the Kingdom of God. I remember even thinking and feeling, even questioning how I expected God to ever use someone who struggled with this or even thought those kinds of thoughts, and pursued those things that I knew was sinful. I know now this may seem simple or even absurd, but I had grown feeling this need for constant obedience and fear of failing and truly a fear of being declared unworthy - not by God mind you - but by the community of faith that I was trying to serve.
Then I stumbled across a message from a pastor who was a part of my faith tradition, but was always deemed a little bit of a rebel. He pushed boundaries, and he didn't care what people thought. He was a little bit like Jesus I suppose. He had preached a message called "A Refuge from Despair." And in that message he asked the question that had been ringing in my ears as a young man. He said "Where do we go for a refuge for failure? Where we do we go for a refuge from despair? Where do we go when somehow we have made our mistakes?" He proceeded to share a message that I must have listened to 100 times - as he decribed our need to run to the refuge provided by God when we have made mistakes and how guilt and condemnation comes from our enemy, the devil, to rob us of the peace and joy that is provided by a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ. God is our refuge - God is a very present help in the time of trouble.
What I had spent years trying to cover up and hide, God knows anyway and He still pursues me. His desire is for me, not against me. I grew up with this view of God, kind of like the TV Show "Survivor". Like there was this large grew of people that had been chosen to go to the Island, and overtime, because of their mistakes or shortcomings, failures, inability to live up to the rules, they would be wittled down, until God had His chosen few that would spend eternity with Him. Nothing could be farther from the truth - Jesus himself declared that in his Father's House, there were MANY rooms or even as one versions said, mansions - and Peter declared that it was not God's will that any be voted off the island - I mean - perish - but that all would come to repentance. And he was writing that, not as an evangelism mandate, but rather to the church.
Now there will be some who will read this and they will be angry with me today. Because they will assume that I am talking against the faith tradition that I grew up in, that many of my friends and family still adhere to, and they will assume that I am saying that we should not strive to please God, to make Him happy. And I understand why you might think that, but if so you are missing the entire point. The truth is that if we live from a position that is constantly concerned with our standing in the kingdom; if we are constantly worried that we will be voted off the island because we somehow came up short; if we are constantly concerned that our actions will create displeasure from God or others will somehow eliminate us from His kingdom, we are forced to live a life of shame, cover-ups, hiding, and ultimately yielding ourselves to hypocrisy and a fake version of true Christianity.
You see true Chrisitanity is real. It is living a life that is uncovered. It is a life that recognizes I am a sinner, I fall short, but by God's grace I get back up and I keep going forward. To deny this is to deny the whole of scripture. Yes we are striving to be like Him, but we haven't arrived yet. It is a lifelong pursuit, but if I spend the whole of my life worrying about my standing on "the island", I'm not truly able to go about the business of the kingdom, that being to share God's love and mercy with all those who need it. Our world is filled with people who are desperate for a hiding place in God - not a hiding place from God - but a hiding place in God - a refuge from the pain and hurt that they experience every day. But if we are so busy hiding our mistakes, covering up our short comings, how can we lead others to Him?
There comes a moment when we've just got to be honest - Honest with God - YES - but honest with ourselves about who we are, what we've got hidden, what's in our closet. Because, the story of Adam and Eve, while sad, perpetuates a problem that I readily see to this day. It's not about eating the fruit. It's not even about hiding from God. It's really about responsibility. Because when they were confronted about their sin, they quickly endeavored to pass the blame - "the woman that you gave me made me do it". . . "the serpent made me do it". . . Poor devil had nobody left to blame.
I'm thankful that God had allowed me to discover the refuge that I can find in Him. I'm quick to realize that even now, I have struggles, I mess up, I have sinful thoughts and actions that I have to seek God's forgiveness of every day. My favorite passages of scripture center around reminders that His mercies are renewed every day, and that if I sin I have an advocate with the Father in Jesus Christ, and that if I'm in Christ, I'm a new creation, and the old me that at times I've been so ashamed of is gone.
CONSIDER THIS - Today, as you look over your life - what is it that causes you shame? Everyone us experiences it - none of are exempt - what happened to you to make you feel shame? Is it sin that you committed? Was it sin committed against you that caused you to be abused or victimized? Is it something that you're still covering out of fear of reprisal OR fear of condemnation from others? Whatever it is today - regardless of what you've been told - shame is not your burden to carry, Jesus nailed it to the cross along with the sins of all mankind. When Paul wrote that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus - that was a promise for you to. Yes - when we mess up there is conviction - but is designed to push your toward a God who is pursuing you. Guilt, shame, condemnation are those things that cause us to want to hide from God out of fear of His anger and wrath. Today- you were meant to be free, and I invite you to begin walking in the freedom that He provides.
MEMORY VERSE - Romans 8:1 (NKJV) "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."
PRAYER DIRECTIVE - Today, as you pursue God, consider your view of Him. Are you seeing Him as a loving Father, with open arms ready to receive you, to wrap you in those arms - to hide you from your enemies - to protect you from those who would harm you - OR are you seeing Him as your judge, jury, and executioner, waiting for you to mess up so He can remove your name from His roll. How you see Him will determine how you approach Him today. If you see him as Judge - you will approach Him guarded and fearful, and yet the writer of Hebrews tells us to come boldly to the throne of grace to obtain help and find mercy in the time of need.
MAKE THIS DECLARATIONS FROM GOD'S WORD OVER YOUR LIFE TODAY -
- You are my refuge, My fortress, My deliverer. . .
- You are my strong tower. . .
- You are my provider. . .
- You are my healer. . .
- You are the strength of my life. . . I will not fear what man can do to me.
- You are my comfort. . .
- You will sustain me. . .
- You will keep me in perfect peace. . .
- You are my safety. . .
- I will abide under you shadow. . .
- You are my supply. . .
- I will trust you Lord and not be shaken. . .
- You are the love of my life.
- I Love You LORD!
I hope this is a blessing to you today! Praying that God bring you out of the shadows and reveals His great love for you today!
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